Tim Turner

Definition Administration - 6
Definition Discernment - 16
Definition Evangelism - 11
Definition Exhortation - 14
Definition Faith - 7
Definition Giving - 2
Definition Ministering - 16
Definition Knowledge - 14
Definition Mercy - 18
Definition Pastor - 17
Definition Teaching - 15
Definition Wisdom - 17

I think God is rather hilarious at times. That is the 2nd spiritual gifts test I’ve taken in two days, and both times they came out basically the same. Mercy, Teching, Wisdom–from everything I can tell those are the skills God gave me to use. So, now I have to ask myself…what do I do with it? For quite a while now I’ve been ignoring God, basically as much as possible. I knew when I decided to enter into the ministry that while God does let some people sit back and be content with their simple life, I was never intended to be one. It would be so nice to relax and live life as an average joe, but my soul keeps stirring.  Today I realized why I can’t settle. Its simple realy, its the desire to create.

God, being the Creator, made all of us in His image. I think a lot of times we turn things around, and make our characteristics His. The problem with that thinking is that we are flawed, He is not. One thing mankind must do, no matter how much we may resist it, is to create. We must make something, its built into all of us. The most common form is for us to create art or music. Its not limited to that, however, we can create love, peace, and joy as well. One thing I really and truly love to do, is to create something that inspires someone. A lot of times that puts me into the roll of untrained-struggling-to-be-creative graphic designer. The thing is though, it makes me incredibly happy, regardless of how unsatisfied I am with my own creativity. I feel so great about it, because something inside of me knows that I simply have to create something. Look at humanity’s past. You can learn quite a lot about a culture simply from the art they create. Look at how inspiring architecture has been.  The universe itself is a mighty piece of art. Science is necessary, because we feel a need to understand the infinite potential of the world God created for us. Nothing about this is really new, though, but it got me thinking about my own creations today.

What if art is not what God intended for me, but to bring about peace in a person’s heart? Its so easy to turn to art as the best way to show our creative desires. Could is be just as creative to listen to a person and give them wisdom? Is creating peace in a heart of chaos a way to make art? Is it possible that when you teach someone a new way to look at God you are creating love? What about listening to another persons cry for help, is that just as creative as the man with a paintbrush? Earlier today I might have said no, but I am certain these things are just as creative. I now realize that the joy I feel when creating art is only a small part of what God actually intends for me to do. While I’m still not certain what I should be doing, I know that I shouldn’t settle for what kind of logos or shirts I can make. What I am to create will likely not be something that can be seen, but something thats inside the hearts of people.

So, next time you look at a painting and have a real appreciation for the talent that God has blessed that person with, will you also look at the works of your own hands, your mouth, or your eyes and see the creativity that comes from them as well?

We’re back, and unfortunately once again I feel like I took a vacation that felt nothing like a vacation. Wicked was absolutely amazing, and we had fun, but the beds at the hotel were so hard and uncomfortable that I had a really hard time sleeping, so for four days I’ve slept really bad. I’d definitely recommend Wicked to anyone, the show was a blast, and was far more then I had even expected. I just love the theme of the whole show. While it was focuses on the relationship between the wicked witch and the people around her the show had a lot of political undertones. The whole conflict comes about as a result of the wizard oppressing the rights of the animals(who in oz can talk and think like people). In the end she is label as “wicked” through propaganda and lies all as a result of her wanted to stand up for what she believed in. I really like the way they tied the story together with the original wizard of oz story, it just gave a nice fresh perspective on the whole thing.

The one nice really nice thing about being gone though was I had the chance to 1. catch up on my reading, and 2. think. I read a book called Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala. The thing I love about books like this is to see what its like for someone to rise up to the challenges that harsh spiritual environments present and to overcome them. The whole book really touched me, but I think the most important thing to see in the book was to truly understand the importance of prayer. Sure, we all know prayer is a good thing, but prayer is probably one of the most overlooked things in our daily lives. Even a lot of prayer that is done has a tendency to be forced, or is simply done because its the right thing to do, not because there is a heart of prayer. I look at my own life and must say I’m disgusted at my own prayer. I could come up with a lot of nice flowery, tear-jerking prayers, but in the end I know my heart simply isn’t there. Now that I’ve more openly acknowledged my problem I feel I’m a good step closer to correcting the problem, but I also understand I have a long way to go. When a heart not only prays, but is driven to pray amazing things will follow in the wake.

Ovie and I had a great conversation last night. Even though I really enjoy my time alone to ponder things, its really nice to have people in my life who I can bounce my ideas off of, and its even more enjoyable to find out I’m not the only one who is feeling these things. Spiritually I’m just down right apathetic. I can make excuses why that happened but in the end it doesn’t matter, what matters is that has to change, and I understand now the only way I’m going to change that fact is to set myself some goals. A huge problem with myself, and the entire twenty-something age group is a huge lack of goals. Sure I want to be close to God, and I want to have a house and a nice car, those are goals right? Indeed they are, however I realize now I have no goals to get me to those places. We can look towards the future all we want, but at the end of the day we live here and now, and we have to learn to get moving. I’m starting to learn to take smaller steps. Have John read by the end of this month, pray twice a day, etc. I know this isn’t some kind of cureall for my spirituall life, but I feel like it’ll get me back in the movement, the first few steps are always the hardest. In the end I understand that I can no longer sit still, I have things to do and a world to change.

I think the most disturbing thing about feeling so apathetic is my deep fear that I’ll become cold and lose compassion. Two instances haunt me, and I simply cannot get them out of my mind. The first happened while we were in Orlando. We stopped by wal-greens to get something for Kat since she wasn’t feeling all that great at the time. As we walked about I was in the back, and I walked past a man sitting on the sidewalk. He mumbled something and I stop and turned to him, and said “what was that?.”
He calmly replied,” do you have any change?” I told him I was sorry I did not(which was true, I don’t keep cash on me), and then walked to the car. It wasn’t until we got back on the road that the alarm went off in my head. What was I thinking? I had $20 on my debit card, would it of really been so hard to ask the man what he needed? The guy was dirty, with a bike and a backpack so all I can do is assume he was homeless. When was the last time he ate? Would it of hurt to lend a helping hand out to another human being? I didn’t, and unfortunately this hasn’t been the only time such a thing has happened. A month or so ago I was in the store and happened to notice a group of “scene” looking kids. Its not abnormal to see this kind of group in our store, but what made this one stand out was a girl wearing a tanktop who had a large birthmark on her back, similar to the one my brother was born with. I went about my merry business and continued to help customers as per normal. At the end of my shift I got in the car and started to head home. As I came up to the intersection to turn onto 181S I happened to look to my right, and there in the grass sat the girl I had seen in the store. She was crying her eyes out sitting alone with no other cars around. The poor girl looked absolutely miserable. Had she gotten into an argument with someone and been left behind? Did she need a ride home, or someone to talk to? I don’t know, because I kept driving.

When I look back on those events it doesn’t surprise me that the world has such a negative view of Christians. When people are in need, we keep walking. That is what breaks my heart. To know that people are hurting and we, the ones who are here to help, just don’t give a damn. Whats so sickening is that when I look in the mirror I know I am one of those people.

Now its time to stand up, and I hope that everyone else will join me on a path to a greater impact on the community around us.