Tim Turner

I’ve been meaning to get on here and write for a while, but even now that I’m here I don’t exactly know what to write about.

I guess a good place to start is with the Wii–thats right I’ve finally reentered the world of console gaming. Now, PC gaming will always be superior, don’t get me wrong, but the Wii is crazy fun. My mom was ever so gracious as to buy the Wii for me, and frankly I think its a great investment. I mean seriously, when is it not fun to swing your arms around like an idiot in front of the tv? Even my mom couldn’t deny it. After she tore me apart in a game of Wii bowling(yes I suck in real life and on the game). She conceded it was a lot of fun. Also, Super Smash Brothers Brawl is a crazy awesome game. So far I’ve beaten the single player mode, and I’ve beaten 33 or 41 events. Its another one of those games that isn’t anything spectacular, its just fun. I think people get so lost in “innovation” they forget how to have fun when they play a game. You can only, “oooo” and “ahhhh” for so long, and once thats over you find yourself with a really boring game.

Monday Ovie, Ben and I had a meeting, and it was nice to get together and just talk about our dreams. I also got the chance to hear some things about myself I hadn’t heard before, and those words are appreciated. There are so many things we want to do, but for whatever reason we haven’t been able to. I like that we’re looking back to the basics again. As a whole we like to make things complicated. I’m honestly starting to think we do that simply to distract ourselves from the simple truths we don’t like to acknowledge. A lot of things that are “gray” aren’t really all that gray, we’re just comfortable with leaving it that way.

I guess the only thing I can say is pray that I get some direction. I’m not the best at listening to God, but I’d really like to know what I should be doing. Work is probably the biggest thing. Theres nothing particularly wrong with my job, in fact, the couple of weeks have been really smooth. The longer I work there, though the less and less I feel like I’m in the right place. Maybe I’m just antsy I don’t know, but I wish I was doing more with my life…problem isn’t I haven’t the foggiest idea what I should, or want to do.

I realize now one of the things that gives me great joy. I’ve been thinking over things I like and love, but in the end I think helping people through things really brings me great joy. To see the weight lifted off someone, or to see that moment of revelation when the answers become clear is a great thing to me. I don’t particularly see myself going into counseling, but thats ok.  I’d just like to think that one day I’ll truly make a difference for someone.

I finally did it. After much debate and a lot of burn out–I cancelled my Station Pass subscription. So, no more MMORPGs(for the moment). It was pretty freeing to do so. I’ve just decided I should focus on different things for the moment, I’ll still game but not near as much as I have. I told my dad the other day that I’d rested long enough and it was time to start moving again, well I think that applies to every part of my life. I’m gonna start focusing on learning the useful things like php, css, and xml. I’m pretty certain I’ll always hate logo design, but web design is kinda fun.

The more I talk about it the more I realize I’m simply just not satisfied with what I’m doing in my life right now. Don’t get me wrong I like fixing computers, but fixing computers doesn’t satisfy my soul. As nice as it would be if fat paycheck could satisfy me, it simply doesn’t and I want more.

I’m excited about the event Ovie mentioned to me a while back. We have a ton of planning to do, but I’ve tossed the idea up to a few people and so far I’ve heard nothing but support for it. I think its time this area got together as a community. We put up too many walls and biases. Whats the point of labeling each other? Makes me sick.

Tonights devotional for me was about forgiveness. It was kind of funny considering I was talking to my mom the other day about how I have problems letting go of anger. Do we ever really stop and think about what good it does for us to still be angry about that time our sibling lied and we got grounded instead? Its ridiculous that we can’t let go. More often then not when Kat and I get into an argument it has nothing to do with her. Just the other day she did something that set me off, and I felt horrible later, because I was angry over something that had to do with my childhood, but yet she had to sit there and feel the wrath of it. Its simply not what we should do to people. I see it a lot in Best Buy, a customer will come in with a legitimate issue, but the slightest thing will set them off. It becomes very apparent which customer are mad at Best Buy, and which ones were mad before they came in. Makes me wonder who thinks that about me. Problem is, I’m not sure how to let go. In one of Rob Bell’s Nooma videos he said that to forgive someone doesn’t just mean to move on, but to wish them well in their life. I’ll be frank, I’m not a huge fan of that statement–mostly cause I think hes right, and I don’t want to think about having to do that in my own life. Can I really wish those people well, the ones I’m still angry at? I’m honestly not sure where to start, but its something I’m working towards. If you read this, then I’d encourage you to as well. The world has enough anger and hatred in it already, life needs a little more grace here and there.